From Sinning Twice, a collection of essays by Greek humourist Freddy Germanos
(Galaxias 1967). Translated from the Greek by Nick Nicholas.

Ringo the Starr

Everybody knows that, as a journalist, I always try to do my duty. When De
Gaulle came over I was the only one who interviewed him, and when Krushchev
fell it was me again who chased him in Nijny-Novgorod.

How could I leave out Ringo Starr?

Ringo Starr is the famous Beatle who had his tonsils out a few days ago. Every-
one speaks with admiration of the incredible bravery he displayed during the
operation. The question which is currently preoccupying the English press is:
what will become of Ringo Starr's tonsils? Will he donate them to the Historical
Museum of London, the Prado Museum of Madrid, or the Louvre?

All this has naturally moved the youth of the whole world tremendously, as they
ring the newspapers every fifteen seconds to ask: How's Ringo?

Well, Ringo's fine. Only Ringo is...

I talked to Ringo Starr yesterday on the phone. He was in a very good mood, he
had just eaten his cream and was getting ready to receive the veterans of
El Alamein who wished to congratulate him on his stance.

--- Ringo Starr, I asked him, were you always so brave?
--- Ever since I can remember myself.
--- When did you decide to cut your tonsils?
--- On our national holiday.
--- Could you describe the moment for us, Ringo Starr?
--- I was standing in Trafalgar Square, and it seemed to me that I saw Nelson
saying to me: Ringo, it's all a matter of a decision. Cut them and to hell with
--- What had made you hesitate up to that point?
--- The fact that my mum has a weak heart.
--- Ringo Starr, what were you thinking about as you were being seated in the
surgery chair?
--- Mum, Nelson, and the dough I'm losing every passing moment...
--- Ringo Starr, were you pleased by the doctors who performed the surgery?
--- They were all terrific lads. Mum told me the other day: Ringo, when you
get your appendix taken out, we'll use the same people!
--- Did they tire you at all?
--- All the lads did their utmost to cut as well as possible the tonsils of
their beloved Ringo Starr.
--- How many doctors were occupied with your case?
--- Wait a minute, let me think. There was an academian and a professor. No,
there were two professors, counting the one who was gripping my feet.
--- Why was he gripping your feet?
--- Because the other one was gripping my hands.
--- What exactly was the academian doing?
--- He was telling me dirty jokes and holding my mouth open so I wouldn't eat
the pliers. A teriffic lad.
--- How long did the operation last?
--- Two and a half hours, counting the time when I'd escaped from surgery and
hid in the clinic coolroom. That was a joke of course.
--- Did the lads laugh?
--- They all laughed a lot, except for the academian.
--- What happened to him?
--- I bit his hand and he had to have an anti-tetanus serum.
--- Ringo Starr, from what I understand, the operation went very smoothly. Was
it all painful?
--- Only for the academian...

me la ringos. star. ni'oni'o

roda djuno ledu'u mi noi karnysku cu roroi troci lenu zukte le karnysku se
bilga .i mi ca lenu la deGOL. mo'ivi klama cu ropamei le'i gubni te preti
befo ra .i mi ropamei le'iji'a jersi be la xructcof. beivi la nijniNOVgorod.
mu'i lenu gubni te preti kei ca lenu ra co'u turni
.iseni'ibo mi na ka'e na'e tavla la

ni'o la noi cmima la bit,lz. noi masno cu jaigau ka'anri'a
fi le moklrtonsilo pu so'u djedi .i roda manci tavla fi le na'e cnano ka la
ringos. virnu ca lenu micka'a .i lei gicygu'e karnysku cu se cinri lo preti
po'u ledu'u le moklrtonsilo. be la ringos. cu bu'akaunai .i ri dunda ra
zo'ekaunai no'u le citri muzga pevi la london. ge'u .onai le la prados. muzga
pevi la madRID. ge'u .onai la luvr

ni'o rodapedi'u cu.uenai mutce cniri'a lei citno pe ro gugde zi'enoi
fonsku fi lei karni fe ledu'u nikaunai la ringos. kanro
.iju'o lo mutce cu ni la ringos. kanro .i niku'i la ringos .enai su'o drata cu

ni'o mi fonta'a la ca le purlamdei .i ra carmi xalbo .i puzi
citka loi kruji gi'e pu'o bredi lenu se vitke lei pu sonci pe la .elylyMEIN.
zi'enoi djica lenu zausku lenu la ringos. virnu

.i lu doi xu do puku'aroroi dunli dopecaku leni virnu li'u
.i lu go'i co'i le pamoi se morji be mi li'u
.i lu ca ma do jdice lenu katna le moklrtonsilo li'u
.i lu ca le natmi sladei li'u
.i lu .e'o ko skicu le teistu be la'edi'u li'u
.i lu mi sanli le di'urpanka po'u la trafalgar. ije mi simlu viska lenu la
nelson. cu tavba'u fi mi felu doi ringos. roda ka'e se jdice .i ko katna le
mabla li'u li'u
.i lu ma rinka lenu do pujecanai senpi lenu katna .ei li'u
.i lu lenu lemi mamta cu se risna lo ruble li'u
.i lu doi do pensi ma ca lenu do co'a zutse le micka'azda
stuzi li'u
.i lu la mamta kuce la nelson. kuce le jdini poi ru'i se pleji mi le
micka'a li'u

.i lu doi xu do se mansa le mikce poi micka'a do li'u
.i lu rori cu xaupre .i le mamta cu tavba'u fi mi felu doi ringos. ko ca lenu
do jaigau micka'a le cantrnapendike. cu.e'u pilno le mintu mikce li'u li'u
.i lu xu ri ta'irgau do li'u
.i lu role xaupre cu traji gunka fi lenu xagrai micka'a le moklrtonsilo. be la noi dibrai ra li'u
.i lu xo mikce cu gunka tu'a do li'u
.i lu ju'ocu'i mi pensi .i pa se girzrnakademia. e pa ctucrprofesore cu go'a
.ije'u na go'i .i re ctucrprofesore ja'a go'i .i mi kancu .e'aji'a le
ctucrprofesore poi la'arjai le jamfu be mi li'u
.i lu mu'i ma ra la'arjai le jamfu li'u
.i lu ki'u lenu le drata cu la'arjai le birka li'u

.i lu le se girzrnakademia cu zukte ma li'u
.i lu lenu cusku loi cinse xajmi mi gi'e kargau lemi xedja mu'i lenu mi na
citka le cinza .i xagrai prenu li'u
.i lu lenu micka'a cu cacra li xo li'u
.i lu li repimu .iji'ubo mi kancu jmina le temci pe lenu mi rivli'a le
micka'azda gi'e mipklo le spita dujyzda .i li'a mi xamyzu'e li'u
.i lu xu le xaupre cu ki'u cmila li'u
.i lu mutce cmila fa da'ada .enai le se girzrnakademia li'u
.i lu ma pe ri fasnu li'u
.i lu mi batci le xance be ra .iseki'ubo ba setca ri lo bilmrtetano. fanta
litki li'u
.i lu doi lenu micka'a cuja'o mutce cnano .ixu da se cortu li'u
.i lu go'i lo drata na.e le se girzrnakademia;